Twilight IM
by Bella Anima
Summary: The Twilight Characters crazy, messed up lives told in IM.Seven years after Breaking Dawn.T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Screen Names:**

**Bella: Sheild_Girl_05**

**Edward: Masochistic_lion01**

**Alice: Psychic_Shoppa_Gal**

**Jasper: Southern_Boy**

**Rosalie: Rose_Petals**

**Emmett: GrizzlyBear_RAWR**

**Carlisle: OH_Docta_C**

**Esme: Hot_Mama**

**Renesmee: Loch_Ness_Monster**

**Jacob: BigBadWolf**

**Leah: Lone_wolf**

**Seth: Lil_Wolfpup_15**

**Sam: The_Protecter**

**Mike Newton:Hottboy4**

******************************--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Loch_Ness_Monster has logged on**_

_**Masochistic_lion01 has logged on**_

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has logged on**_

Loch_Ness_Monster: Hey Dad, rnt u glad i tlkd u n2 dis???

Masochistic_lion01: No.

Sheild_Girl_05: O, cm on Edward,dnt u thnk this iz fun?

Masochistic_lion01: Well, it could be, IF I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING!

Sheild_Girl_05: ayfs? this is IM, not an english classroom! juss let loose! *wink,wink*

Loch_Ness_Monster: eww.

Masochistic_lion01: I have not attended high school for over a century, learning grammer over and over agian, to loose all of my intellectual habbits to a peice of machinery!

Loch_Ness_Monster: ...?

Sheild_Girl_05: umm... i hav no idea wat u juss said, so juss tlk lik this, ok?

Masochistic_lion01: No!

Loch_Ness_Monster: but its easier!

Masochistic_lion01: No!

Sheid_Girl_05: evry1 does it!

Masochistic_lion01: NO!

Loch_Ness_Monster: cm on, u no u wnt 2...

Masochistic_lion01: NO! THIS IS THE MOST STUPID THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF!I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU TALKED ME INTO THIS NESSIE!

Loch_Ness_Monster: WELL IM SRY U THNK THIS IS SO STUPID DAD! I JUST THOUGHT UD LIKE 2 TRY SOMETHING NEW! IF U DNT LIK THIS,HERES SMFN ELSE U CLD DO: GFYSWC&EAW, AND THEN U CAN GJIAL&LCKTHPNDSCUMLKITZMJSCUM,WHEN UR DONE WIT DAT U CN GTAGB&GAFBJFRAFPHAGLIKURSLF! SO STICK DAT IN UR JUICEBX & SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_**Loch_Ness_Monster has Logged off**_

Masochistic_lion01: Do I want to know what she said?

Sheild_Girl_05: probly not.

I thnk u should apologize

Masochistic_lion01: Why?

Sheild_Girl_05: U hurt her feelings!

u know how she is at (_this time of the month)_

_**Psychic_Shoppa_Gal has logged on**_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: i hope u know Nessie came to me crying and told me wat u said bout IM. go apologize to her right now u stupid sob!!!

Masochistic_lion01: She'll get over wats a sob?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: oh, gbioua u gah!

Masochistic_lion01: Okay,I don't know what you just said.

Sheild_Girl_05: again, you dont wanna know.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Edward,if u dont apologize right now, i will make u over as Lady GaGa!

Masochistic_lion01: OK OK I'LL GO!

_**Masochistic_lion01 has logged off**_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ha ha,that sent him running!

Sheild_Girl_05: lol, i know! where could u even find as slutty out-fits as hers anyway?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: i know people Bella. and i have...WAYS...

Sheild_Girl_05: o-k...

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: lol! Nessie said she cussed Edward out, wat did she say?

Sheild_Girl_05: she said, quote," WELL IM SRY U THNK THIS IS SO STUPID DAD! I JUST THOUGHT UD LIKE 2 TRY SOMETHING NEW! IF U DNT LIK THIS,HERES SMFN ELSE U CLD DO: GFYSWC&EAW, AND THEN U CAN GJIAL&LCKTHPNDSCUMLKITZMJSCUM,WHEN UR DONE WIT DAT U CN GTAGB&GAFBJFRAFPHAGLIKURSLF! SO STICK DAT IN UR JUICEBX & SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" end of quote.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ooo, thats he know wat it ment?

Sheild_girl_05: no,thank god

_**BigBadWolf has signed on**_

BigBadWolf: hey guys,wats goin on?

Sheild_Girl_05: Edward and Nessie r fighting.

BigBadWolf: oh dramaqueens of the house havin a pray eddie-weddie wont break a nail!!!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal & Sheild_Girl_05: rotflmao!

_**Southern_Boy has signed on**_

Southern_boy: MULB!

_**Southern_Boy has signed off**_

BigBadWolf:uhh...

Sheild_Girl_05: umm...i think im gonna go nw.

BigBadWolf: me 2.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ttyl guys!

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has signed off**_

_**BigBadWolf has signed off**_

_**Psychic_Shoppa_Gal has signed off**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**Southern_Boy has signed on**_

Southern_Boy:MUAHAHAHAHA!

...

...

...

MULB!

_**Southern_Boy has signed off**_


	2. Chapter 2

**~!#$%^&*+3=?~!#$%^&*+3=?~!#$%^&*+3=?~!#$%^&*+3=?**

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has logged on**_

_**Hottboy4 has signed on**_

Hottboy4: Bella!

Sheild_Girl_05: uhh...who r u?

Hottboy4: its MIKE! Mike Newton!

Sheild_Girl_05: ohh...*cringes*...hey mike.

Hottboy4: hey! its been like, wat, 7 years?

Sheild_Girl_05: yea... how did u no it was me?

Hottboy4: Jacob Black Gave me ur screen said u were missing me,and wanted to catch up sumtime.

Sheild_Girl_05: oh...i _see _*imagines sporking Jake's eyes out*

listen,mike,im getting a new sceen name and deleting this it is: Nvr_gonna_hppn

Hottboy4: ok! ill add ur new one

Sheild_Girl_05: and delete this 1...

Hottboy4: of course.

Sheild_Girl_05: promise...*looks stern*

Hottboy4: i promise!

Sheild_Girl_05: ok.g2g mike,bye.

Hottboy4:bye Bella!

_**Hottboy4 has signed off**_

Sheild_Girl_05: I am going to rip off Jacob's balls and feed them to Jabba the Hut. he will _pay_ for this!

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has signed off**_


	3. Chapter 3

**=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^=)3^_^**

_**BigBadWolf has signed on**_

BigBadWolf: hello! any one on here?

_**kelly_betch has signed on**_

kelly_betch: im here, betch!!!

BigBadWolf: who r u? howd' u get my screen name?

kelly_betch: im kelly! havnt u herd of me?

BigBadWolf: uhh... should i?

kelly_betch: HEL-LO! im a celebrity,u DECK! uve herd song _shoes_,rite?

BigBadWolf:yea...wait,ur _that _kelly?

kelly_betch:_yah!_

BigBadWolf: o jesus.

kelly_betch: tell u wat,betch,ill give u private performance

BigBadWolf:no.

Please no.

kelly_betch: shoes.

BigBadWolf: no!

kelly_betch: shoes.

shoes.

ew-my-gawd,shoes

BigBadWolf: PLEASE! HAVE _MERCY!_

kelly_betch: letz get some shoes!

letz get some sh-

BigBadWolf: SHUT-UP!

kelly_betch: well,exuse me,deck! i was only doing wat bella said!

BigBadWolf: wait,_Bella_ told u to do this?

kelly_betch: yah, she said u were a _huge_ fan!

BigBadWolf: please, i cant stand u fag!

kelly_betch: Forget u betches, this is f***ed up!

_**kelly_betch has signed out**_

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has signed on**_

Sheild_Girl_05: hey Jake... (he he he)

BigBadWolf: wtf was that 4?

Sheild_Girl_05: it was 4 giving my screen name to mike newton,retard!

BigBadWolf: aww come on! i was just kiddin around bells!

Sheild_Girl_05: so was i!

BigBadWolf: fine.

Sheild_Girl_05: fine.

BigBadWolf: FINE!

Sheild_Girl_05: FINE!

BigBadWolf & Sheild_Girl_05: ...

Sheild_Girl_05: wanna watch spongebob?

BigBadWolf: u no it!

_**Sheild_Girl_05 has signed off**_

_**BigBadWolf has signed off**_


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N: One of my favorite chapters)**

***%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%**

_**GrizzlyBear_RAWR has signed on**_

_**Psychic_Shoppa_Gal has signed on**_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Hey Emmett!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: Hey wat?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Shake your booty

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: No Way!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Shake your booty

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: OK!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Shake! Shake! Shake! Shake ur boo-tay!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: Shake-Shake-Shake! Shake-Shake ur boo-tay!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR & Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: that was fun. :)

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: yea. :D

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: hey, wait a minute!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: what?

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ur smiley was better than mine!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: oh yea...HA!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: NO!!!! no-one can ever beat me at emoticons! for i am _EMMETT! EMMETT THE SMILEY KING!_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: umm, i think i just did.(oh burn)

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: no way, little pixie! ur magical dust will never defeat _EMMETT THE SMILEY KING!_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: we'll see about that! For i, _THE MAGIC PIXIE_, challange thee 2 an _EMOTADUEL!!!_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: i, _EMMETT THE SMILEY KING!_ accept, little short one.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: oh you did NOT just go there!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: o yes i did,waya gonna do about it?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ill tell u wat im gonna do, im gonna kick ur A$$ in the _EMOTADUEL!!!_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: o yea? well Bring. It. On.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: with pleasure,ur highn-_ASS_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ARRG!!! i must give props 4 that burn.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: i accept them graciously...grrrrrr!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:Grrrrrr!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:GRRR!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:RAWR!!!

ROUND 1!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: READY!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: GET SET!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR & Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: :) :(( :)) :-c

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: devil,crying,laghing,really unhappy

_Round 1:THE MAGIC PIXIE!!!_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: arrg...ur better than i thought

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: thanx

ROUND 2!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: READY!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: GET SET!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR & Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ~: -) :^o ;-

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: chicken, hypnotized, liar, devilish wink

ROUND 2: _EMMETT THE SMILEY KING!!!_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: omg emmett! its a tie!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: omg! u no wat dat means!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:SUDDEN DEATH!!!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR & Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: +-: ) : & : :* ) X( *)

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: :/ 8I :x ;) :8( O :-) (%) :)-

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: :^D 8-] :-o ^5 :] (::()::) (~~) ~O)

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: [-O $-) :-" b-( :)- [-X \:D/ :/

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: :-& :-S :-\ :- I :-, :-# :-X :-Y :-" :-W :( )

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: :-o ;-) :O 8-| :-/ 8-O :-C |-{ };- %%- **==

Southern_Boy: MULB!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ...

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Jasper...

Southern_Boy: yes?

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: when did u sign on?

Southern_Boy: iv always been on. just invisible.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: oh.

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ok...

Southern_Boy: yep.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ...

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: hey jasper, wat does mulb mean?

Southern_Boy: if only u knew...

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ...

Southern_Boy: well...bye.

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: bye Jazzy!

_**Southern_Boy has signed off**_

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: o-k...back to the _EMOTADUEL!!!_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: Nobody has won yet!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: oh no!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: wat do we do!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: hmm... i know!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:YAY!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: you ask me 1,if i dont get it , u win,if i do,i ask u we do this until some1 wins!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:ok!here we go in 3

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: 2

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: 1

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal & GrizzlyBear_RAWR: AAHHH!!!!!!!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: =P~

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: Drooling!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: crap,thats right!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: yes! ok,my turn!

**=;**

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: uhh...uhh...

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: tick-tock-tick-tock

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:STOP PREASURING ME!!

uhh...i give up

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: it means: _talk to the hand_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: grr...i shoulda known dat

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: _THE MAGIC PIXIE HAS WON THE CHALLENGE_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: relax, emm, i already new i was gonna win

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: how?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: uhh... im _psychic.._i see the _future_

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i see

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: good job emmett, giv urself a pat on the back

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: yay..pat pat...he he he

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: thats right emmett, pat pat

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: but, wait, does that mean u cheated me?

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: well...

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: Alice! im hurt!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: im sry emm,but...u were juss so easy to trick

GrizzleyBear_RAWR: HMPH! *pouts and glares at Pixie girl*

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: tell u wat, ill get u a life-sized teddy bear so u can wrestle with it.

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: with a red bow...

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: with a red bow.

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: ok..i forgiv u

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: we cool,big bro?

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: we cool, lil sis, we cool

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal:YAY!!!

hey, eddie an bellie r out hunting-

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: he he,bellie

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: ...as i was saying,letz put a hidden camera in their room, catch a *scene* on video, and use the tape as blackmail!

GrizzlyBear_RAWR: o yea,blackmail!!!

Psychic_Shoppa_Gal: i thought u'd say that

_**GrizzlyBear_RAWR**_

_**Psychic_Shoppa_Gal**_

$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*$&!!=*


End file.
